How to Write Speed

How to Write Speed

by L.A. Zvirbulis

1 – The Inspiration. Have your Dad spoil the movie Runaway Train by telling you it has a bomb on board (it doesn’t). When you watch that movie, realize your Dad probably confused the plot with the Japanese movie The Bullet Train, which did have a bomb on board. Think the movie with the bomb is the better version and decide to make your own but make it your own by adding a bus. Yeah.

2 – The Genre. Action. Wait, what, this takes place mostly on a bus and we all know buses are boring. We can only get this green lit if we include action sequences that don’t take place on a bus, so add an elevator and a subway and some sexual tension. Cool?

3 – The Complications. What’s the worst that could happen? If you take public transportation, you might die. Seriously, though, let’s do all the things people wish they could do with their cars in Los Angeles traffic. Let’s destroy a bunch of nice vehicles, almost run over children, and hijack an airport runway. We do crash a bus and destroy a camera while filming the bus jump scene, and we aren’t sure what to tell the studio, but they don’t seem to mind and make a bunch of profits off of this film so who cares about the lost equipment?

4 – The Fun Stuff. Do you remember Die Hard? We almost got the same director, but he suggested another guy who remembers Die Hard because he was the director of photography. He knows how to make elevators and buses and subways exciting, mostly with explosions.

5 – The Device. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes over 50 miles per hour, the bomb is activated. When the bus goes under 50 miles per hour, the bomb explodes. Simple. Easy. Fun. But there has to be more than one bomb. It’s the nineties, after all. There’s the bomb in the elevator at the beginning, then the bomb on the first bus, then the bomb on our hero bus, and then the bomb strapped to our leading lady at the end. Explosions are cinematic.

6 – The Hopper. The hero is only as good as the villain is bad. This villain has a big chip on his shoulder because of corporate bullshit with is retirement. He just can’t get no respect, so he blows things up. “Thirty years from now you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.” What do you want in thirty years? To still be a good movie? Congratulations! It’s worth a watch.

7 – The Jokes. Pop quiz, hotshot. How can set up a full romantic relationship in two hours? Have them meet under intense circumstances. Have them use PG rated sexual innuendos as to imply that Keanu Reeves is dating this cute bus driver, resulting in her asking “Do I get off?” when given the option to steer the bus off the freeway. After that intensity calms down, have the bus hit a baby carriage being pushed across the street only to find out it is filled with recyclable cans. “It’s not a baby!” is the same thing a couple would excitedly yell after an adventuresome night. He comes back for her even though it risks his life, thus proving his love for her generated during such an intense circumstance. Keanu and Sandra basically go through all the steps of a relationship in less than two hours. It works.

8 – The Title. Minimum Speed. That sounds boring. Maximum Speed? But we don’t really go that fast in this movie…hmmmm…okay, Speed it is. 

9 – The Ending. The bus blows up, but no one else does. Keanu defeats the Hopper and saves the day, even though he destroys an expensive subway line on Hollywood Blvd., reminding everyone that Los Angeles really does have a subway. 

10 – The Heart. Speed is a full relationship between Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. A relationship built on intense situations can never last, but this movie will be fun to watch forever.

*L.A. Zvirbulis did not write Speed. Graham Yost did with dialogue help from Joss Whedon.