How to Write Newsies

How to Write Newsies

by L.A. Zvirbulis

1 – The Inspiration. Read up on the real New York City Newsboy strike of 1899. Think, “hey, it’s the 1990s, and people love the 90s again.” or something like that.

2 – The Genre. Drama. That’s how you get Academy Award Winner Robert Duvall, Academy Award Nominee Ann-Margaret, and future Academy Award Winner Christian Bale on board. Once you get them, change it to a Musical Comedy. They can’t get out of the movie because contracts and unions and such. Get Alan Menken from The Little Mermaid to write the songs. Make this the first completely live action musical Disney ever films, and get the choreographer from Dirty Dancing to direct.

3 – The Complications. What’s the worst that could happen? That powerful media villain William Randolph Hearst raises the cost of papers to the newsboys, not to the consumers. He makes his workers pay more to work for him. Disgusting. Let’s also make the main character not have a family and want a family that he thinks he might find in the magical land of Santa Fe.

4 – The Fun Stuff. Unions on Strike! Everyone loves that. I think you change this into a musical after realizing that the drama is just not as fun as the dance sequences. If unions on strike had choreographed dance moves I think a lot more negotiations would happen.

5 – The Device. Music. Newsies would be incredibly boring if it weren’t for the musical sequences.  After you’ve seen this movie once, you probably just fast forward through the dramatic scenes and go straight to the dancing boys, no matter how much you claim to love the entire movie. Only the heroes sing, the villains just get plain speaking roles until this gets turned into a Broadway musical two decades later. Ann-Margaret is delightful as a vaudeville star and it re-introduces her to audiences that might not have known her glory otherwise. Sadly, Christian Bale will never sing again after this. But music wins.

6 – The Reporter. We need someone that represents the evil newspapers but is on the side of the striking newsboys. Denton. He can share the newsboys’ stories, then betray them to keep his job, then prove to them how good he is by helping them make their own paper. What a character arc. Good job, Bill Pullman. Maybe you should be President in another movie.

7 – The Jokes. Doogie Howser’s friend Max Casella plays Racetrack, so all of his jokes are about betting. Idina Menzel’s future husband Aaron Lohr plays the sweetie Mush, so he’s just nice the whole time. Gabriel Damon plays Spot Conlon, the teenage ruler of Brooklyn, so there are a lot of mentions to how awesome yet scary Brooklyn can be. And Christian Bale’s accent is captivating.

8 – The Title. The Newsboys Strike of 1899. No. Hearst Jerk. No. Media Unavailable. Ugh, let’s just go with Newsies.

9 – The Ending. The Newsies win by getting to keep working for “the man” for the same price they did at the beginning of the movie. That’s how they win, by being the same. Also some corrupt people go to jail and now Governor Teddy Roosevelt is looking into working conditions of children, so that’s good. And Christian Bale has a family now, even though he never reaches his dream of going to Santa Fe. I like to think that’s where he Honeymoons after Christian Bale marries his best friend’s sister. It’s romantic. 

10 – The Heart. Newsies does not do well in its theatrical release. It becomes a cult classic mostly from people like me who record it on VHS from Disney Channel and watch it repeatedly. The songs and choreography are iconic, the actors in it are perfectly cast, and Kenny Ortega proves himself as a director that does way more than High School Musicals.

*L.A. Zvirbulis did not write Newsies. Bob Tzudiker and Noni White did, based off of the real Newsboys strike of 1899. Music by Alan Menken and J.A.C. Redford.

**This is a VHS movie made by the actors while they were filming. It is a spoof comedy about an old actor killing the stars of Newsies called “Blood Drips Heavily on Newsies Square”. It isn’t PG, but it is delightful and proves how much fun these kids had on set.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0SmAn5wdbM